By Taylor McGrath — Founder, The Self Collective · 5 min read
Learning how to find your core values is one of the kindest things you can do for your future self. Values are the quiet compass underneath every decision you make — and when you've never named them, it's easy to spend years walking in a direction someone else chose. This gentle, practical guide will show you how to find your core values in seven steps, using nothing more than a journal, some honesty and a little unhurried time.
Why Finding Your Core Values Changes Everything
When women tell me they feel lost, flat or "successful but empty", the missing piece is almost never motivation — it's alignment. Your values are what your life is measured against internally, whether you've named them or not. Once you know them, decisions that used to take weeks of overthinking resolve in minutes, because you finally have criteria that are truly yours.
Clarity isn't found by thinking harder — it's found by listening closer.
How to Find Your Core Values in 7 Steps
Steps 1–4: Gather the Clues
- Recall your peak moments. Journal about three times you felt most alive, proud or at peace. What was present in each? Connection? Freedom? Creating something?
- Examine your anger. The things that infuriate you — dishonesty, unfairness, being controlled — are usually violated values wearing a disguise.
- Notice your envy. Envy is information. When you ache at someone else's life, ask which specific part of it your heart is pointing at.
- Audit your energy. List what consistently drains you and what fills you back up. Values hide inside the pattern.
Steps 5–7: Name and Test Them
- Work through a values list. Circle every word that sparks recognition on our full core values list — aim for 10 to 15 on the first pass.
- Group and narrow to five. Cluster similar words, name each cluster, and keep the five that feel like relief rather than obligation.
- Road-test for a fortnight. Let your five values make three real decisions — an invitation, a purchase, a boundary — and notice whether they hold.
What to Do Once You've Found Your Core Values
Naming your values is the beginning, not the finish line. The real magic of knowing how to find your core values comes from letting them shape ordinary days: how you spend your Tuesday evenings, what you say no to, which relationships get your energy. Browse some personal values examples to see how other women phrase theirs, then try living with intention for one week with your top value leading. A monthly check-in using self reflection questions will keep your values from gathering dust.
Gentle Tips If You Feel Stuck
If every value on the page feels important, you're probably choosing values you think you should have. Put the list away and finish this sentence instead: "I feel most like myself when…" Your answer is a value in plain clothes. And if two values fight for the last spot, keep both for now — finding your core values is a practice you'll revisit, not an exam you sit once.
Ready to Go Deeper?
Finding your values is the doorway — walking through it daily is the journey back to yourself. When you're ready, join our 21-Day Challenge, or begin gently with the 7-Day Reset.
FAQs About How to Find Your Core Values
How long does it take to find your core values?
One honest afternoon with a journal is enough for a strong first draft — then give yourself two weeks of real-life testing to refine them.
Should I choose values I admire or values I already live?
Start with who you are at your best, not who you think you should be. Aspirational values are lovely, but authentic ones are the reliable compass.
What if my values clash with my current life?
That gap is information, not failure. Change one small thing at a time — a boundary, a habit, an evening — rather than overhauling everything at once.
Do couples or families need shared values?
Overlap helps, but it doesn't need to be identical. What matters most is knowing your own values and communicating them with kindness.
About the Founder
Taylor McGrath is the founder of The Self Collective and the creator of the 21-Day Challenge and 7-Day Reset. Through journaling, affirmations and guided self discovery, Taylor helps women reconnect with who they really are — one gentle daily practice at a time.
I'll see you soon, xo — Taylor